Never Split the Difference Notes

• A lot of the fallacy in negotiations occur when you assume humans are rational. You have to learn how to affect the irrational System 1 to get the System 2 to do what you want.

• ”It all starts with the universally applicable premise that people want to be understood and accepted. Listening is the cheapest, yet most effective concession we can make to get there"

• "Negotiation serves two distinct, vital life functions-information gathering and behavior influencing”

• In mirroring, repeat what they’ve said to get them off balance.

• Use labeling: when you label their emotions to try to get somewhere

  • Label your counterpart’s emotions and mirror their behavior

  • Use accusation audits

    • Label what they’ll say abt you beforehand

• No isn’t bad. No helps you get negotiations started. A no that helps you progress to real solutions is better than a fake yes to get you to back off

• The two words that immediately transform any negotiation: “that’s right”

• How to gain mentors - make them invested in your success

• Bend your counterpart’s reality

  • don’t split the difference meeting halfway often leads to bad deals for both sides

  • use extreme offers to anchor your counterpart’s reality

  • use odd numbers to make your final results seem more real

  • ”People will take more risks to avoid a loss than to realize a gain. Make sure your counterpart sees that there is something to lose by inaction.”

• Make your opponent feel the illusion of control

• Guarantee execution by using calibrated questions: “what should we do if the deal falls through? how do you expect me to do this?”

• Find the black swans: the underlying secrets that would completely change the negotiation if they were known